I almost made the title to this post: What If I Take A Step Back…

The SEO’er in me about had a heart-attack. I saw all stop words, and the blocked categorization, and the frown emoji I’d get from Google.

That was conversation A.

Conversation B was about the language. Taking a step-back. As if I have to go backwards in life to review what’s going on now.

So conversation C was the new title. Observation Mode. Observing what your current beliefs are, how you are perceiving them and where are you using your knowledge as an excuse to stay stagnant?

Yup! You do that. I do to… that’s how I know you do it.

Growth is linear not vertical. It's like the winding road up a mountain side
I learned a new term a few weeks ago called “feedback loop”. It was in a therapy session when I explained this feeling of having this feeling of being back where I started or worse, further behind. This feeling of not having made any progress. She told me about the feedback loop, or as a co-worker lovingly calls it, “The Squiggly…”

It’s like a trip up a mountain. If you take the path that loops around the mountain 100 times you’ll be back to the place you got on 100 times before you hit the top. Does that mean you have gotten nowhere? No, you level’d up. Not all progress is linear.

Or for your numbers obsessed nerd (I say that with loving admiration) you’ll enjoy the annuity analogy.  Just because the stock market crashes doesn’t mean you’ve lost anything. And when things begin to grow again, you grow from the place you’re standing, not from the bottom.

I’m saying all of this to say, that if you feel you’re at Rock Bottom or that you’ve taken two steps back or that you’re not going anywhere, YOU ARE!

You are more than you know.

Here’s an illustration of the feedback-loop.
Feedback Look used in psychology

You see how in the first loop?

You have made a choice, gained awareness, or arrived at a cross-road so you take an action. You create a loop.

You get to the top and then you receive feedback about the choice or circumstance.

Now you have to make another choice. Where that feedback point connects back to the path. Are you going to repeat the loop or are you going to take the new knowledge and use it to catapult you up to the next choice?

Is it going to serve you or burden you?

So, to come back to the topic at hand… I feel myself on the back edge of a loop. Not at the bottom but at the place where I need to observe what’s been happening and the choices I’ve made and see what I’m using to burden me and what I’m using to serve me.

Using knowledge to create an excuse is asking to go through the same loop again. You’re just writing over the loop you just drew with the ink you just picked up. So instead of using that new ink to draw a new loop, you use it to draw over the loop you just closed.

Why?

Fear that your ink isn’t the right ink? Fear that your new ink will not be accepted? Fear that your new ink is invisible and no one will even know you’re drawing?

Your fear is the “thing” that’s keeping you in that loop.

Experiences are not stupid, worthless, or unnecessary. It is either a lesson or a blessing. You choose.